Wednesday, October 14, 2009

...trying to capture the fun of my college days.

The illustrious one that is the wisdom and the light that is he who is I Myself has actually been spewing out these overrated catchphrases and shit for almost a couple of decades.  From some early prototype stuff produced with my best buddy in high school with a couple tape recorders and a shitty stereo condenser mic (that mic is still in my sound equipment in a crate in my room here) to my short-lived and tumultuous time on college radio down in Dayton, Ohio, I've been trying to capture the spontaneity that a wit such as mine possesses.  I've kind of learned over the years what does and doesn't work.

First, I'm really at my best when I have another person to bounce off of.  Some of my early solo attempts were flat and boring.  But when I had another person who kind of provided the straight man to my insanity (and if you've read enough of my blogs, you know what I'm talking about), some funny shit came out of it.  I actually have the evidence.  On tape.  Although a couple of them have deteriorated, and the digital copies I made are missing. 

Second, music doesn't soothe the angry beast, it get's the bitch all up in the mothafucker like a bitch on the skinny crack-crack.  On crack.  Either way, I've always been someone that really keys into music, from the sublime to the crunchy, and everything in between.  Except Toad the Wet Sprocket.  That band just depressed the shit out of me because their music was all slow-assed depressing, even the fast stuff.

Third (and this it's something I've learned through my writing more), I do best when I'm me, not a caricature of me.  That's actually the whole purpose behind this blog.  I can, in essence, pull my nuts out and not be embarrassed about talking whatever shit I'm talking about while I type with my mansack flapping in the breeze (FYI, my testicles are contained snugly because it's too cold to sit around naked (and I have kids)). 

The only problem I have is that in writing, I can't keep up with the thoughts as fast as they come.  Plus, I usually have something else on when I write, thus distracting me at times.  For example, I wrote this while watching Robot Chicken, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and Metalocalypse.  It means that while you get the gist, I'm bound to miss something somewhere, because I come up with a dozen ideas a second when I get the jism flowing.  An example is the mention of my college radio days.  I had though about that a few days ago.  I forget what I was going to say originally.  But I got it in there.

Which brings me to a fourth thing that works:  Feedback.  And not just the kind when you rub the mic over the speakers to hear the scream.  I'm mainly talking the kind that I get from the people who can't turn away from the mental carnage that flows from my various orifici. This post began when I got an Email from Beth about my proposal to whip it out in the YouTube-iverse (my intellect, you perv bastards, I'd get flagged for pulling out my junk). 

So for those of you reading, ask me some questions.  I'm pretty certain I can take it and turn it into a long-winded answer after a log and possibly pointless rant.  And in answer to Beth, I'm trying to recapture the best of me by by rockin' the 'Tube.

Right now, I just need sleep, so I can roll out the kids for school.  It's too late and I'm too tired to even make the requisite masturbatory reference....


  1. I'll need to give the question thing some thought...

    In the meantime, maybe a secretary who knows shorthand could take notes for you and write up your blog.


  2. How about answering the question, what is the meaning of life? You should be able to do that in 10 minutes, right?

  3. Beth: As long as the secretary is a hottie who loves children and can't get pregnant, and for some reason finds my dimpled ass sexy, it'll work.

    As for the meaning of life, I think Monty Python did a movie about that. There you go.

    Maybe in a future post....

  4. I thought you wanted questions that you would answer on your YouTube show, but the blog posting answer was good because you really can't do the parentheticals as well on video (you know?(of course you do)).


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