Sunday, October 25, 2009

...too much time on Wookiepedia.

After an actual busy day (damned unconfirmed outages), I gathered the younglings and brought them home.  To pass the remaining time before bed (and a night of watching Cops (gotta love tasers)) we polished off Star Wars Episode VI:  Return of the Jedi, as we had watched Episode V the prior day or so (strangely, my favorite of the movies is his favorite as well:

The point of the above clip, as well as the rest of this story, is that you find layers. The layer that came to me last night was as those annoying teddy bear stand-ins the Ewoks, were hauling Luke, Han, and Chewie off to their village. To quote C3P0 (from memory, bitches!): "I'm afraid you're to be the main course in a banquet in my honor." Didn't happen, of course, but that meant that the Ewoks eat people. So we come to the end of the movie, everybody's all happy and shit, dancing to the inferior filler music that came about in the Special Edition release of the movie. And like it was from the first time the movie hit theaters, the Ewoks are banging melodically on drums, stormtrooper helmets and armor and shit, and making those annoying cute sounds.

One question: What happened to the stormtroopers that were in that armor? After all, that's a lot of delicious meat (much of it cloned) that could fill the bellies of those ravenous little furballs.  So did the Ewoks eat the stormtroopers?  This leads us to the tagline, "Stormtrooper:  the Other White Meat," as well as a new way to scar impressionable youth (not my kids, they're already warped enough).

So this meant I had to Google to see what other information was out there. Not surprisingly, others beat me to the punch.  But this also put me onto Wookiepedia, which is the Star Wars Wiki site.  It's a little more comprehensive than the highly produced and harder to wield Databank over on  And then I had some other things I wondered about.  Like:  When did Luke Skywalker die?  100+ years after the movies, from old age, if you want to know.  Then I got into the rest of his family.  And the wars and trials that came after beating the Empire the first time (no, killing the Emperor didn't end the Empire, or kill the Emperor (yes, cloning technology)).  As well as the fates of some other characters (some were left open, some were corpsesicles).  And lightsaber fighting styles.  Etc.

I started this before Cops came on (7 o'clock hour), put the boy to bed reading from the Wiki, fell asleep on the couch reading, and then finished this morning before seeing the kids off (giving me a couple of hours to myself to clean, eat, , shit, and pen this shit (and probably tug one out)). With interruptions, I got a better grasp on the post-movie canon over about 6 waking hours.

Six hours of reading and I only brushed on the scariest possibility of them all from the Star Wars universe: Luke's love interest.  Guess who was listed first.

I think this inspired a Wikipedia search on the subject in the real world at some point....

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