... on cool and rainy days bringing on the malaise.

In trying to figure out how I'm going to meet my financial obligations in the next moth, let alone this year, I find myself staring at my desk full of paper.  And I come to the realization that I have to dig in and deal with everything.  The problem is that I've let it build up to the point that it will take hours.

Meanwhile, I find what energy I have being sapped by the cold and the rain.  And the fact that it looks like the next couple of days will be that way (there's hope for sun on the weekend) just makes me want to curl up and watch a whole season of something depressing.  Or maybe all 6 Star Wars movies with the dry-assed commentary track on(only mildly interesting if you're a Star Wars geek (thankfully, I am)) while eating lots of fried (and therefore grease-hot) things.  It certainly doesn't inspire the desire to rock out, because the kids get stir crazy far too quick.  And productive uses of my time (like keeping up with the cleaning)?  Yah.

I'm looking at this screen and wondering what to write about next.  Although I have a gazillion and one (.347862876297469243) ideas a second sometimes, it's on days like this that I barely have the energy to dig through my email, let alone go ape shit on the political blogs with my wit and wisdom (and wang).  In fact (clumsy segue moment to address question asked)  it makes me start to wonder about the meaning of life.

And since it was asked, I'll pinch off a response (which describes where I get my philosophy in general) about the meaning of my own life

I haven't got a fucking clue.

I think that's the way it's supposed to be.  You either head a specific direction or you drift somewhat aimlessly (drifters on my blog, UNITE! if you feel like it, and if you get around to it (let's wait on the procrastinators)) and you continue forth until you arrive in the right place at the right time.  This is where my faith leads me.  Because I know there is something important for me to do.  I just don't know what it is, where I must be, when it will happen, who will be touched, and why I'm the person.  I'm certain I know how to do what I must do, but since the other questions aren't answered, I'm guessing it's a combination of things in my unique skill set (computers, writing, driving, cooking, singing, masturbation, spewing inane catch phrases).

The worst part is that I have to make sure I finish this before I go home.  As it is, I need to get my bill for my Internet paid, and the office will be closed until tomorrow.   In other words, if I'm off, I'm off until tomorrow.  Ick.  On the plus, I have enough offline stuff to keep me busy.

Of course, I'm not sure where I put the CD with the stroke vids....